i really hate my pc.. evrytym i log in at friendster, after some 10 minutes or so, a message thingy like this comes out..

" an illegal operation has occurred..yakkety yak... "

and then....

" there was an internal error blah blah! "

and then... my friendster window closes!!!!!!!!!!!!

now, how am i gonna get rid of this...????? i NEED help!!!!

i tried virus scan.. to no avail.. and now i am so suffering!!! and i am no techie.. i can't do anything about it!

what makes matters worse??? my yahoo messenger is now acting quite fummy and my chikka messenger is starting to jerk up......

i hate this.. i am fuming mad.. agitated.. wanna beat the h*ll out of this sh*tty pc!!!!!

any help out there..puhleeeze.. i am desperate!

and read this: no valentines day card on the mail.. no text message.. no phone calls... is it just me or the world hates me today...! can it just be any worse??

is this an application of the murphy's law something?? that when something goes wrong, everything will go wrong???!!!!

^^d@mN you mr. murphy!!!^^^^ ***screams!!!!***

*sigh* i just hope things will get better...

this is one of the most beautiful piece that i've ever read in my entire life.. never fails to make me smile...

xoxoxoxoxoxoxxooxoxo

you've been asking why, of all people.. so i tried to write this down.. and this is all i can come up with...

first of all, you make me laugh like no one else can. you make me smile in the littlest things you say or do.. you've been there for me, especially when i'm down. you might not realize it but you have inspired me to be a "better" me. i don't know what it is you do but you make me feel good about myself.. maybe you are just being you..

you are really sweet and thoughtful and charming that sometimes you take my breath away, like my heart skips its beat for seconds. then i get the feeling i'm somewhere between heaven and heaven.. whew! i'm just blissfully happy when i'm with you..

and do you know that your eyes smile?? they just light up and makes my day complete..

and sometimes, you can be awesomely cute and pretty that i feel like stealing a kiss on those ivory cheeks because i just can't help it...

i love hearing your stories.. about your li'l sister,about your plans and just about everything or anything under the sun.. i could spend the whole day just listening to your stiries.. or maybe talk a little and listen to your stories.. or maybe sleepa little and still listen to your stories..

i love listening to your voice.. you really have a nice voice yo know! if only i could control you, i'll let you sing to me as often as i want.. but then again, i don't wanna be a control freak..

and when you look at me without saying a thing, not a blank stare but just a stare and i see your angel face, i feel like my insides just left me.. like an unoccupied space filled with air.. if you could only feel that too, you'll know what i feel for you is really something special...

you're fun to be with! i could hang out with you until forever.. you're just a simple girl, you're not afraid to be yourself.. you just go and do your thing as long as you don't hurt anybody...

you're good with little kids.. i've seen you around with reverend's youngest girl and i know you're a loving sister especially with coleen...

i know you're not perfect, who is anyway?? but you admit that, like you're not really good at cooking and you can be lazy at times, and you're honest with it!

lastly, i like you for who you are and not what you can become.. i will love your past, present and future.. i could go on with this but really just boil down to these three (or four) magical words...

i love you... period....

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

>>> ....hapPy hEaRts dAy on d 14tH.... <<<

my neck aches.. my back screams.. my head feels light or maybe i feel stupid...

what in the hell is a thesis anyway??

checking my long lost friend Mr. Webster..

thesis << ---- what is laid down as a preposition; dissertation..

been working my ass off every night, typing.. pretty much what happens when you are the only one who probably knows how to use microsoft word..tsktsktsk!

the result of my sleepless nights??? i am very glad to enumerate them for you..

1. growing pimples all over my face and some parts of my body..
2. a chronic back pain
3. a headache similar to a major hangover after drinking a lot of dear old jose..
4. bedsores! *i am DEFINITELY kidding!*
5. sore butt, ass, booty or whatever you call 'em..

good thing i have my winamp now.. listening to my playlist over and over again.. a temporary bliss for me.. in the middle of the night or early morning, i am either shaking my booty, dancin' really sexy or banging my head on our computer table.. i think i am doin' them all at the same time.. could it be i'm really losin' it???

i am soooooo tired of doin' all this crap! as one of the persons closest to my heart says and i quote "why don't you ditch the bitch?!".. dang! if only i can really ditch this thesis, i will gladly do it...

2 months to go.. this will all be over...

board exams... hmmmm.... on a second thought, i think i'd rather enjoy doin' the thesis...

*hush!* i should be typing now........ just let me reach forth my capri...

yey! i'm extra happy today.. i got 2 new posts from fellow blog lovers.. feels nice though.. at least a lot of people can help me in improving my blog.. well, if i have the time to make my blog better, more "appetizing"...

i'm still sick.. this d*mn flu..


i just said or better yet wrote my last goodbyes to a very close friend who's leaving for manila to work.. the goodbyes were civil.. with no hints of possible communication thru text *coz he doesn't have my new number..

closing a chapter with a person you've grown up with can be really very hard.. but when God closes the door, he opens a window. ayt??? we're still friends.. but more of a casual form.. things, events, circumstances can just change everything drastically.. be it in a good or bad way..

but i'm happy with what we have right now.. we may not be as close as we were before but we communicate now from time to time.. he's happy, and i'm happy.. well, maybe happier.. hehe!!

some good things do end.. but better things do begin too...

well, to my forever friend.. whatever happens you know that we will always be friends.. whether best or good friends.. i'm just here whenever you need me.. though i may not be there as quick as i was before, but i'm here.. *i'm writing all of these as if he knows my blog!*

nine days that have passed..

for the past days, i haven't written any single entry.. how can i find time to do the entries when i wake up at 5.30 and take a bath immediately under the freezing water... fix myself before 6.15 and be at the hospital at 6.30 am.. nasty way to start a day right?? and that's just certainly the beginning..

at 7.30 am, i start my mechanical handwashing and surgical scrubbing.. my hands are so dry from the betadine handwash and the terribly long scrubs with that hard-bristled brush! and to think i'm doing that scrub for like 5 minutes per hand!my hand now looks worse than manang jemma <<- our laundrywoman.. so after that painful handwashing and scrubbing, i go to either operating room 1 or 2, do my gowning and gloving (i really suck at this one!!! even after 3 major surgical scrubs, i'm still a slow poke!) and start preparing the needed instruments (aseptically! with the sterile technique and all!) for like more than 20 minutes while my clinical instructor's losing her patience..hehehe! then stand for another 20 minutes as the extremely slow-moving (i think they're even slower than manila's traffic) resident surgeons prepare the patient..

the sloooow 1 hour and 30 minutes of my day starts.. clamp, tie, peanuts, metz, snap! yup! i have to take note of the surgeon's every word or else i'll get shouted at! as i frantically searched for the instruments, i still have time to laugh at times because i just can be so extremely stupid or deaf at times...hehehe!! yup! i do this for the an hour and 30 minutes.. give out the instruments or just look at the bloody operation..

like last monday, i assisted parotidectomy (surgical removal of the parotid gland).. stupid me, the previous sunday night was the end of the dinagyang fever so obviously i went out with my family and laughed endlessly at pokwang's show at smallville.. literally, i had a blast..! i was laughing so hard that my stomach hurt.. she is really a good comedienne.. enough w/ my pokwang story.. at 2am, i had my weekend call and it ended at 4 am w/c left me 2 hours to rest for that devastating monday OR schedule..

so, my stupidity the previous night had a huge price to pay.. after an hour of standing, i felt dizzy and my legs wobbly (courtesy of my sleepless night and my ultimately wrong decision to skip breakfast bcoz i was running late!!).. and after much struggle, i decided to scrub out!meaning, i quit assisting! my gosh! if i decided to push through, i might'vt fell flat, face down on the OR table, unterilizing the sterile field, being shouted at by the doctors, staff nurses and my instructor, ultmately embarassing myself and not to mention writing an incident report and having to do extension duty and paying for the "unsterilizing" that i've done and my extension duty that would last more than 3 days [200/day].. good thing my instructor's a good soul.. jenna and i went home by 2pm, slept for an hour, woke up at 4pm realizing that we were late for our afternoon (4pm-10pm hospital duty at another hospital!!).. we got there at 4.30 and we had to lie to our instructor that we were late in leaving the previous hospital due to a long operation.. now, talk about liars! so hospital duty again.. getting the vital signs, suctioning the sticky and copious sputum of my patient, monitoring him as he undergoes blood transplant (like taking the vital signs every 15 minutes!!!) leaving the hospital at 9.30 pm, riding the jeepney home, alone and cold... reaching home at 10 pm.. tired, dirty and stripped off of eery energy you had for the day.. yup, that was my monday..

then came tuesday! my first day of the flu w/c got worse by wednesday.. and now that it is friday, i am still sick.. but i had fun.. fiesta fiasco!!!! i'll just leave the details till the next entry..

just writing this entry made me tired! au revoir.. till my next bitching! kisses everyone!

the hooligans of ssc_batch4.. too bad some were not here in the picture coz it was supposed to be only for the peeps who wore black clothes... but, as usual.. some can't really resist the camera..

if you look closely, someone from my not so distant past is here.. hehe! the one person who has taught me the do's and dont's of falling in love too much... and just how to love real hard and deep without cynicisms.. and the pains of losing the one you love.. how to stand up and move on even if it may take like 2 years... yup yup yup! learned a lot from this person.. really, i did!.. thank you..

*photo credits: margz*

for the love of f'ster, i wanna write a little somthing bout it.. on how that website linking both friends and enemies on one chain changed my life.. or maybe yet, gave me information on some topics..hehehe!!

for one.. the bulletin! -- haha! if i'm among your friends, you can see that i always have something to say..everyday! never ending surveys.. the power of self-discovery.. the wonder of asking the same questions over and over again but i just never seem to get tired of it..

second - the testimonials.. come on! admit it.. doesn't it paint a smile on your face when someone makes youa testi?? it may be full of good things at times but thw fun thing about it is when you reminisce some of your life's best memories with somebody.. taje my case for example.. a good friend of mine wrote something bout our friendship w/c was really soo nice to know about.. the endless childhood memoirs.. haaay! i cud go on and on..

third - the information.. as someone quoted.. information is power... i have known a lot of chikas, chismis just readin' other people's friendster account.. and the pictures! some of them on their skimpy attires, others on their funny faces, with their loves of their life.. and it surprises me that some of the people that i don't like are linked to me in less than3 degrees! hahaha!!

enuf of this friendster thing,....i have to check my mom's bp.. tell you more about it..

slow day! no class for the morning.. friendster's down so all i have to do is squeeze my puny mind of some creativity to put in my entry.. i missed one day yesterday coz i was kinda busy chatting with mi high school classmates.. koy, 2pas, mama nyunyu, fishy.. one thing we all had in common.. we're from the plump and healthy society..! the huggable section of ssc_batch4, original lavoisier..sheeesh! that line brings back both good and bad memories..

one of us had a dilemma on how to court a posh girl from the upper society of iloilo city.. well, the hell i care... i have this intent dislike on socialites.. don't know why.. maybe because i like their lifestyle a lot (they're soooo carefree!) and i wish i have their life too..hehehe!! nah! i still wouldn't exchange the ordinary girl in me.. i mean i do "uphold myself socially" once in a while but it's not a thing that i can keep on doin.. so.. *toink!* but the clothes, shoes, bags.. man! they live life to the fullest.. *grins!*

see yah?? 3rd s word for the day.. nothing more to put in here...! these creative juices don't come abundantly as i would like it to be.. so, this blog is all gonna be bout my emotions, my bitching, braddie of course and just about anything that i wanna put in here...

*exit...stage right!!*